17 March 2011

Movies: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1680138/

As promised in my review of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (MSvGO) I had to watch Mega Python vs. Gatoroid  (MPvG) - because it stars both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.  Much like MSvGO, one can surmise how good of a movie MPvG will be solely from the title. And it is terrible. Even worse than MSvsGO.

Dr. Nikki (Debbie Gibson) - a doctor of what is never explained - has an obsession about pythons. She doesn't like seeing them caged, so she and her two unnamed disposable minions break into places, steal them, then release them into the Everglades.  Park Ranger Terry O'Hara (Tiffany) is concerned because pythons are killing alligators, upsetting the balance of nature.  The stereotype local yokels wanna hunt gators because it's gator season, but there aren't enough left (python problem) to be a-shootin 'em.  Ranger Terry authorizes a python season instead to restore balance.  Pythons wipe out all the yokels, plus Ranger Terry's fiancee. So Ranger Terry does the only logical thing - she gets ahold of some experimental steroids, injects them into dead chickens, and feeds the chickens to the local gators. She figures the gators will then get big enough to properly defend themselves from the pythons.  Problem is that the pythons feed on some of the gators before they get too big, plus they feed on the gator eggs, so not only do the gators grow to giant proportions, the pythons keep right up with them.  And by giant proportions, I mean eventually we're treated to a python swallowing a moving train, that's how giant proportions the animals get.

Now, the python vs. gator bit - that's been in the news. And probably was a source of inspiration for the film. Especially this locked-in-death incident - where the python ate the gator, but couldn't contain it, thus exploded:
National Geographic
In addition to Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, a couple of fine supporting actors from various TV shows and stuff round out the rest of the core cast, A Martinez and Kathryn Joosten, both are instantly recognizable because they've been in many things.  Incidentally, A Martinez lets out the best yell of surprise I've seen in a long time. And by best, I mean it was so terrible it was funny.  Oh - there's a 'monkey' you'll recognize too. The rest of the supporting cast, not so much.

Dialog - terrible. Tiffany's acting - woof she's bad. Gibson - worse than she was in MSvGO, but looks like a seasoned pro next to Tiffany. Martinez and Joosten were the obvious best actors in the flick. Locations - well, there's footage of real swamps intercut with shots of the actors stomping around in woods and in streams. I don't know if any of the actors were filmed in a real swamp, let alone in the Everglades.  Continuity and editing - terrible. Special effects - well they used CGI, which varied from bad to worse. I did have to laugh when exploded python parts fell around a dude standing in water, making lots of splashes, and the only ripples in the water were caused by him standing there.  Another shot that cracked me up - a low-flying helicopter over plants and water generated no rotor-wash, the plants and water didn't budge.
Yes - completely B-movie production quality. It is like a porn movie - without the porn.

The movie is terrible in every way, and worse overall than MSvGO.


The movie was so bad I laughed through most of it. I don't know if I could stand watching it again, but it was both funny and entertaining in how terrible everything was.

Some best moments: When Tiffany and Debbie G first encounter each other they yell "Bitch" at each other. Then call each other the same at various points in the film.
There is a knock-down-drag-out fight (plus wrasslin) between T and DG at a fund raiser, including T smearing pie on DG, and DG shoving T's face and boobs into a cake.  This scene was probably on a lot of people's wish list back in 1987. Not so much now.
After the fight - no shit - DG says "I think we're alone now" and T says "there doesn't seem to be anyone around".  And that's not the only reference to their musical heyday past.
Watching T grab on to the ladder of a hovering helicopter, only to have the helicopter start losing altitude, was rather amusing. Watch the film to see why.

Yes, so terrible it is funny and entertaining it its severely B-movie way.  Probably worth trying to sit through once if you can stand terrible B-movies made for the SyFy channel. Just for the amusement, just for the Tiffany vs. Debbie Gibson fight.
I enjoyed my terrible experience, but I still think, in comparison, MSvGO is a better film. Kindof.

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