23 February 2011

Movies: The Expendables

I was rather 'disinclined' to write one on this flick, But here it is


The Expendables http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/

After being taught repeatedly, as a child, that "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all," reviews for flicks like "Fantastic Four", "Hulk" (Ang Lee's version) or "Transformers" are tough because they have such a high entertainment expectation attached to them and they just fall short of delivering.  The Expendables falls in that chasm.


The Expendables has a huge A-list action cast in Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, not to forget B (and C)-listers  Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas and Charisma Carpenter... see how big this is getting?


Talk about setting the viewer up for 103 minutes of unadulterated action awesome omgwtfbbq.


About that.


Yes - the flick delivers shittons of explosions, gunfights, hand-to-hand combat.

Story? Don't really look for it, you've seen it before in some fashion. It's as if they shot from the treatment and tacked in a couple of slower scenes to break up the shittons of explosions, gunfights, hand-to-hand combat. Oh and recycled the plot from seemingly hundreds of other action movies of various quality.

But it has that cast. And shittons of explosions, gunfights, hand-to-hand combat. And the obligatory car chase. Can't forget that.


So watch it for the actors, the shittons of explosions, gunfights, hand-to-hand combat, not the story, and you might be entertained. Come to think of it, it's like a Michael Bay action flick with less story. Not quite Uwe Boll quality, but almost.


If this is supposed to be some tongue-in-cheek send-up of action movies in general then there is failure to wink at the audience early enough to let them in on the joke. Unlike "Shoot 'Em Up" which totally lets you in on the joke at the get-go and is a much better movie. Heck - rent that instead if you haven't seen it.


Oh  - and you can probably hold your breath during the entirety of Arnold's (and Bruce's) screen time. It lasts about as long as it takes to type "Cameo" with your elbow.

like this: camero -- well I almost did it.

(original post 10 Dec 2010)

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