20 February 2011

Movies: 2012

2012 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190080/
The stupid. It burns.
If you liked "The Day After Tomorrow" you'll probably like this one too. Me - I hated The Day After Tomorrow. Guess where I landed on this one. 2012 could pretty much be a sequel to "The Day After Tomorrow". In fact, just call it "The Day After 2012". 
Plot: 2012: The Mayan calendar goes no further. The planets align with the center of the galaxy. The sun gets super active and the Earth starts melting from within. Everything on the world is gonna die. Oh noes.

I spent about 2 hours 10 minutes waiting for 2012 to end and it's a 2-1/2 hour movie. The viewer is lucky they didn't get cute and make a 201.2 minute movie.
I just can't enjoy watching flicks like 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow. Hard to believe the same guy that brought us "Stargate" and "The Patriot" (I think I liked The Patriot - I may have to watch it again to be sure) is the same guy that brought us The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Godzilla (1998), Independence Day and 10,000 BC. Well, actually 10,000 BC kind of gets a pass for at least being almost entertaining enough to watch once. And Independence Day gets a pass for being entertaining enough to watch a couple of times. Neither makes up for the rest of the cinematic abominations from Roland Emmerich.

Movies that make up their own science must put you in a cinematic 'universe' that allows for it. They gently establish early on to the viewer that a certain amount of 'suspension of disbelief' is required. Plenty of flicks do it quite well - like Star Wars (well eps. IV, V, and half of VI - fuck eps. I, II, and III), Lord of the Rings, even movies like King Kong. Heck, "Shoot 'Em Up" told you at the outset how the movie was going to be and it's okay for me as a viewer. I understood. And "Shoot 'Em Up" is more awesome for it. "Zombieland" even sets the tone right at the start - you know what you're in for, and you're good to go.
But movies like 2012 don't do that. They put you in our world then invent their own physics, geology, meteorology, astronomy, history, etc. and expect you to sit there and take it. I just can't. They never ask for you to activate 'suspension of disbelief' - they just hammer you with stupid shit hoping either you engage the filter out of self-preservation or are too stupid to realize it is required.
Full of cliche last-minute saves one after another, impossible aeronautics, impossible cross-country and global travel, impossible volcanic eruptions, impossible tidal waves, cardboard characters with cardboard familial dysfunctions, cardboard professionals in cardboard jobs, cardboard ethnics, paper-thin motivations and altruisms, ugh it is disgusting.
I didn't care about any of the characters, I didn't care if they lived or died, heck I even kept hoping the stupid toy dog would freaking die. But it had a pretty good cast. Emmerich must really get some $$ to afford the people he puts in these flicks. And hey - it could be worse - it could be a Uwe Boll movie.

But if you liked "The Day After Tomorrow" or "10,000 BC" go for it. Watch and enjoy.

(original post 1 May 2010)

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